March 2012
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading whore.
February 2012
fuck genderswapping, i hereby demand all cast and...
John Watkittens
Sherlockitty Holmes
Meowcroft Holmes
James Pawiarty
1 tag
4 tags
And then I realized that my entire life can be summed up in one gif.
you know who would have made a great American...
iheartrogues:
fwips:
Hey Sherlock, get over here, man.
I found some
Fresh Prints.
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute, just hold my Glock
I’ll tell you how I became the friend of a man named Sherlock
purrplekat1989:
limiculous:
purrplekat1989:
...
Reblog this if you'd hang out with your Tumblr...
playnicelydraco:
findmeat221bbakerst:
jammy-john:
REBLOG IF YOU WOULD MEET THEM AT THE AIRPORT GATE AND RUN AT EACH OTHER IN SLOW MOTION, ARMS WIDE OPEN WHILE “AT LAST” PLAYS OVER THE PA SYSTEM
AND AS I RAN I WOULD CLICK THE SMOKE MACHINE ON AND HAVE MY HAIR CASCADING BEHIND ME, AND WHEN WE FALL INTO EACH OTHERS ARMS, WE SHALL CHERISH THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT OF FINALLY BEING ABLE TO DO...
Mom: What's wrong?
My mind: I used to do so well in school but I'm not anymore.
My mind: The people I call friends, aren't my actual friends.
My mind: I'm constantly feeling alone.
My mind: I'm starting to look at myself different.
My mind: Nothing feels the same anymore.
My mind: I feel like I'm going to fail at anything I try to do.
My mind: I feel like no one cares about me.
My mind: I just wanna sleep all day and never wake up.
Me: Oh nothing I'm fine.
Watch
What is the last thing Snape says to Harry? →
funniest10k:
omg
dying
3 tags
Daily Journal Of A Slacker: Dear... →
my-kind-of-stuff:
I don’t think you understand the importance of tweeting this: ”Benedict Cumberbatch http://eonli.ne/heatgauge #ERedCarpet”
These are the OSCARS - it’s an event where all the major stars in the world go to, they are not gonna give someone like Benny, that is…
My Chemical Romance: If there's a place that I could be then I'd be another memory. Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me
Green Day: Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are
Blink 182: Are you afraid of being alone? Cause I am, I'm lost without you, are you afraid of leaving tonight? Cause I am, I'm lost without you
All Time Low: Your love is the barrel of a gun, so tell me, am I on the right end? I could be nothing but a memory to you, don't let this memory fade away
A Day To Remember: It's Monday morning and I would kill for a chance to drive. Get so far away from here with you my dear, that I'll never leave your side
The Maine: I'm sorry, I'm not what you wanted, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I let you down and I could use some poor excuse 'cause the hardest thing to say,it's the hardest thing to say in the world, I'm sorry
Nevershoutnever: I love you five times more than any boy from before, 'cause all they really cared about was weather you put out. And I truly believe, that this love could be.
Bring Me The Horizon: I won't give up on you, These scars won't tear us apart. So don't give up on me, it's not too late for us. And I'll save you from yourself
30 Seconds to Mars: No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget No matter how many lives that I live I will never regret There is a fire inside of this heart and a riot about to explode into flames Where is your God?
Nicki Minaj: You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe. You a stupid hoe, yeah you a you a stupid hoe.You a stupid hoe you a you a stupid hoe. You stupid stupid, you a stupid hoe
